Update

Havn't written in a few days so here is the latest...it's going to be a quick entry.

Tomorrow is visiting day, which is the beginning of a horribly busy week. All day tomorrow I am expected to shmooze (sp) parents all day.....not exactly my specialty. I am not big on "shmoozing" anyone....

After that nonsense we begin packing the girls up to leave....well, the ones that are only here for first session (half summer)...which just so happens to be all but 3 of the 11 girls in my bunk. After we pack up and ship out those girls we have to unpack the NEW girls...It is goign to be reallllly sad to see some of these girls leave, but i am excited to get almost an entire new cabin of girls because i feel like i have learned a lot about how to handle different situations in the past 5 weeks or so. After we pack and unpack i will be heading on a bus full of campers to NYC to stay the night in a hotel (WOO HOO) which i am SUPER excited about...mainly because of the fact i get a bed and a shower. Then we come back and have to do an orientation for the new girls and start all over again. Yawn.....i am exhausted thinking about it!

Overall, things are going well. I went out last night with some of the girls (gotta get used to saying that) and had a few drinks. It was nice to get a second of calm before the storm. Nothing really exciting to write about tho :(....hope everyone is well. love u all

Venting

I came to camp with many things to try to accomplish. I may have mentioned this in a previous post, but I came to get away from different situations and learn to move on completely and totally. For the most part, i have learned a lot about myself and about moving on and going home with a clean slate. I thank god that there is still over a month to go because there are things I am definitely still struggling with. I was reminded of some of these things when i heard two songs today. Just for kicks, I will add the lyrics below.

Don't think I don't think about it, Darius Rucker

I left out in a cloud of taillights and dust
Swore I wasn't coming back, said I'd had enough
Saw you in the rear view standing fading from my life
But I wasn't turning around, no not this time but


Don't Think I Don't Think About It
Don't think I don't have regrets
Don't think it don't get to me
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey
Don't think I don't wonder 'bout
Could've been, should'a been all worked out
I know what I felt and I know what i said but
Don't Think I Don't Think About It

When we make choices we gotta live with them
Heard you found a real good man and you married him
I wonder if sometimes I cross your mind
Where would we be today if I never drove that car away



I Still Miss you- Keith Anderson

I've changed the presets in my truck
so those old songs don't sneak up
they still find me and remind me
yeah you come back that easy
try restaurants I've never been to
order new things off the menu
that I never tried cause you didn't like
two drinks in you were by my side

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you
I still miss you baby

I never knew til you were gone
how many pages you were on
it never ends I keep turning
and line after line and you are there again
I dont know how to let you go
you are so deep down in my soul
I feel helpless so hopeless
its a door that never closes
no I don't know how to do this

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I still miss you
I still miss you...... yeah.... yeah.....

Hold the phone...

Couple things today....

1....it has been confirmed that we were infected with swine flu. About 100 people had it here....i have yet to get it tho (knock on wood) Everyone is pretty much good now...and most of the girls have been sent back and are feeling great. But, yes, we had a swine flu infestation here.
2...the weather has been much nicer! It was 78 degrees here and the sun was shinning!!!
3...first session is over in a week and a half. This means more than half of the girls in my bunk will already be leaving me :(

lastly, but not least-ly(ha), I am a little distraught. After spending my ENO (early night off...off at 5:30pm tonight) at dinner with the girls and sipping drinks on the patio of one of the VERY few bars in the tiny town of Waterville, ME.....i realized how i am missing a lot at home. I don't know if anyone else feels this way when they are away from home for a long period of time, but i feel like everything at home is on pause and I will be returning to the same situations i left. I found out after spending part of my evening scanning facebook that this is MOST DEFINETELY not the case. I assumed that getting away from things would clear my head and make it so that when i get home i would be in a totally different mindset. I am thinking i may have been terribly wrong...and it sucks. I cannot think of a better word for it...it just plain s-u-c-k-s. I know this is an experience that is opening my eyes to many things and should be one of the greatest summers ever...but seeing some things that are going on back at home really are...devestating(that seems a bit dramatic, but bare with me.....lack of better words when writing on little to no sleep)....i wish i could go home to what i left...but maybe this is better...i guess we will just have to see....

I am utterly exhausted.

Ok so i havnt had ANY time to write an update, so here goes...

The past week has been CRAZY with the girls finally arriving and getting situated. I feel like I have spent months with them already. I don't know what all i have told you and what i havnt so i am just going to ramble about everything i can think of to tell you.

There are 11 girls in the cabin and at this point i have begun to see their true colors. One (sammi...purple shirt on the far left sitting down with BIG, BLACK hair) i originally kind of interpreted as a smart ass because she has been here 3 years and literally bosses the other girls around....disregards what we ask of her...and all around got under my skin the first couple of days. I have learned that she means well, though. She does have a hard time listening, but that is all little ones. I have finally gotten to a point where i can understand where she is coming from and work with her.

There was a little girl that was sick (shelby...the TEEEENY TINY one in the all white outfits picture)...probably the cutest little girl i have ever seen. She sleeps under my bunk and a few days ago i woke up at 5:30am to a small pitiful voice saying my name right underneath me. She had gotten sick all over her bed and was shaking. I got her cleaned up, got her to the health center and got her sheets and stuff together for laundry. The Health center is full of kids (ill elaborate on that) so they HAD to send her back down to the bunk where she continued to get sick. This little girl was attached to my hip and i swear, this little girl and i have a bond that is the closest thing i have had to a child without them being family. I felt horrible whenever i had to leave her side even for a second. Shelby is no longer sick though (thank GOD) and is back to her giggly, loud, jumpy little self. Mission accomplished!

Now, we already had the lice outbreak....now, we have swine flu. Over 50 campers/counselors have been secluded and the huge gym has now been turned into an extended infirmary. Technically, we do not have any confirmed cases of swine flu, but what we do have is over 50 girls that have been tested as positive for type A influenza which is a strong indicator of swine flu, especially in the summer. Most of the "specimens" were sent to the state on Wednesday and we were told that we would have results by Friday, but because Maine has so many camps and because it is a holiday weekend and staff is taking monday off also, we will not have the actual "swine flu" tests back until tuesday. We had a staff meeting tonight to discuss everything any we were told that we have all been exposed, so basically, the camp owners are prepared to cover any costs to keep us all healthy. He said if our insurance is not covering treatment, he will. I swear, its like we are in a bubble here and people are dropping like flies. At lunch i will be sitting with 10 girls assigned to my table...and by dinner i am down to 7, and breakfast down to 5. Kinda scary, but it sounds like the owner is doing the best he can to handle everything and the parents are all well informed. Basically, i am in the best bad situation possible.

On a lighter note, my first day off in....i don't know...uhh...forever???....is Tuesday! A couple of us are planning on getting off of camp as early as possible (i have been waking up by myself before 7am now) and just staying away!!! I think we will be going to Freeport which has a bunch of outlets and stuff (so i hear). Pray for good weather....

Today was "lazy sunday" which means we had the option of sleeping through breakfast (could sleep until 9 if we wanted). I found that it is physically impossible for me to sleep past 8am now. One amazing thing happened today, though. The sun actually came out! It was absolutely gorgeous!!!! One of the girls i hang out with, Lily, is head of fishing so during an hour of free time today she took a few of us out on the pontoon boat she uses for fishing and we just chilled and listened to music in the middle of the lake. That was honestly the most refreshing thing i have done since i have been here and I cannot wait for another sunny day so we can do it again!

The 4th of July was celebrated here with a little carnival which was fun for the girls. I was disappointed because i was told we would have fireworks and we did not :( so it didnt really feel like the 4th. I was really wishing i could have been home for red white and boom...and cook outs and stuff. That kinda made me a little homesick.....yes, I am 21 and was a bit homesick.

I think that is pretty much the basics. I am really starting to bond with everyone now....the campers and the counselors. It sounds lame but we really have kind of become like a family. With so many being sick we are all looking out for one another and doing all that we can. I am fortunate enough to have dodged the bullet for swine (so far) and lice (so far). The only bug i caught was a virus that causes a bit of a sore throat and my voice has been totally gone for a few days. Nothing big....lets hope it stays that way!!

Ok, i am sorry for all the spelling/grammar mistakes....but it is almost 1am and i am falling asleep!!!! Love and miss you guys....there is the update for now! Happy Anniversary mom and dad!!!! :)