Sunday, August 9, 2009

Probably the last update from camp...tear

Once again, i have a lot to say and little time to talk about it. This, again, will not be in chronological order, but i will try my best to put everything i want in.

I have been a little upset thinking about leaving. My feelings about this place are a constant roller coaster. For the past few weeks when people have asked if I will be coming back next year, my immediate answer is, "HELL NO!". Lately though, as we are doing final activities and bringing camp into its final days, I cant help but think how much i am going to miss so many of the girls and so many of the staff. Everyone in the staff has gone through hell and back together this year and we all made it through and we all survived swine '09. I have honestly made true friendships with fellow counselors and until today when i was saying an early goodbye to someone, I did not realize how horrible I would feel. It sucks to think i may not see any of the little girls i have spent 7 weeks with again, or see any of the counselors i have spent 9 weeks with again. I am sure my feelings will continue to roller coaster, but I will honestly consider coming back next year if i am invited back.

On a lighter, more ridiculous note, i celebrated my 22nd birthday on Wednesday here. Tuesday night was probably the most fun i have had here, as everyone was determined to make it a blast. Mission accomplished...and then some! We started the evening sending some random woman who had mixed sleeping pills with alcohol at the restaurant to the hospital. This set the tone for the evening, believe it or not. My boss....yes, my BOSS, bought me a few tequilla shots and i bought myself a $10 maragarita (it was totally worth $10, trust me!), and i ended up moving to a different bar and having abotu 5 other "higher-ups" buy me a continuous supply of jello shots, tequilla shots, and mixed drinks i had never even heard of. We then all decided to coem back to camp (in taxi's and drivin by DD's, i promise) and someone came up with the brilliant idea to go skinyn dipping in the lake right next to the girls cabins. Yes, we all stripped down to undies (totally nakie would have been too ridiculous...as if we really cared at this point) and we jumped in the lake. Now, when i say we jumped in the lake i mean we CANNON BALLED into the lake. Clearly, the security guard was tipped off that something was going on. All of us in our drunken stuper really thought we could be quiet enough to get him to go away and decided to jump behind a huge rock. Well, unfortunetely for me, the only picture i have stuck in my head from that night is my 45+ in age boss running towards me in tighty-whiteys to hide me behind a rock. Whiel laying behind this rock with my boss i was a little disturbed so i tried to scoot further and further away from him which resulted in me scrapping my entire leg from my two to the top of my thigh down the rock. After teh security guard found us (big surprise, we weren't quiet enough to steer him away) and we found out it was fine because we were all counselors, it was not as fun, so we decided to smoke cigs in a totally non-smoking area. We smoked in the gazeebo right next to the tennis courts directly in the middle of camp. Take note: smoking is ONLY allowed in the staff parking lot abotu a mile away. after we finished our cigs we hid them under tiny rocks....hahah this seems liek a genious plan at the time. I don't remember what all happened after that for the night, but i do remember being thrown in the lake by the guys the following day after lunch. So, yeah....hell of a birthday, eh?

moving right along, we took the trip to the radio station. I took 10 girls to "92 moose" which is Maine's top 40 radio station. I guess because it is the most listened to station around here I assumed it would have a nice building like WNCI at home, but no. It was in a mini-mall behind a laundry mat...but the girls loved it! They put the girls on air and camp heard them and it ended up being a big success! The DJ and i actually know a lot of the same people and he said to keep in touch for after december and he woudl try to get me a job with citadel, another company other than clear channel that could hook me up with a radio job. He emailed me the clip of the girls on air, also, which was posted to the camps website so all the parents got to hear it, as well. :)

Hmm, finally, my last day off is Tuesday. We are planning on going to Bar Harbor which is apparently AMAZING! I cannot wait! I leave Monday and will be heading into MA to see Sarah, my mom, and the boys and i am SO excited!!!!! I will be home Friday, the 20th and plan to sleep in my HUGE QUEEN SIZE BED for days and take a shower in a REAL shower. Ughh....its the little things that i miss....honestly. Cant wait to see you all!!!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Update...a bit delayed

I havn't blogged lately, but I have been making notes about what all I need to mention. This is not going to be in any kind of chronological order, but stuff that should be documented...oh well!

First of all, I have to say how hilarious it is to see the girls reaction to the counselors being dressed up on nights we have off. Last night, Lily and I went to a nice dinner because we had an ENO (early night off) meaning we could leave camp immediately following rotations for the day....5:30. After dinner we decided to get Giffords ice cream (seriously, if you have not had giffords you need to...amazing!) Little did we know that half of camp was surprised after their dinner and they took a field trip to giffords. FML. We get there and as soon as i step out of the car i had about 50 girls attack me and tell me, "You look so FANNNNNCY", "Ally, why are you all dressed up?", "OOOooOOOOO you look so preeeeetttttty". Take note, i was wearing normal capris, a normal shirt, and my hair was down. This was a huge confidence boost until i realized that these girls see me roll out of bed with only enough energy to brush my teeth most days so by me actually wearing clean clothes and wearing my hair down i looked like a totally new person. haha...at least the confidence boost lasted a whole 60 seconds.

A funny thing happened yesterday. One of my girls was reading a letter her father had written her. She was walking around the bunk complaining about how she couldn't read her dad's handwriting. Me being the sarcastic person I am (and considering the fact that a lot of girls here have fathers who are doctors) I just said something along the lines of her dad is probably a doctor and most doctors have poor handwriting. She said, very matter-of-factly, "No, my dad's not a doctor, he's a senator. SEE!" And she showed me her fathers stationary....sure enough, senator...maryland. ha. Welcome to the life of a counselor at a JAP (Jewish-American Princess" camp.

Moving right along, Feel free to make the "Whoooomp, whoooomp, whooooomp" noise when reading this first sentence. I WAS broadcasting for a whole day. The "radio fixer upper guy" came into camp to help me fix the equipment and make it work. The owner of the camp had agreed to getting this guy to come to camp, get some better equipment and have him install it for $800. The guy came out one time, did what he could and came back Friday to finish. The owner then decided to renig. The guy then, out of the kindness of his heart, hung around with me to fix the equipment we do have so i can at least broadcast. i spent 3 hours with this guy fixing everything and it worked!!!! Saturday morning i went into the radio hut to begin my first period class.....static....total and complete STATIC over our airwaves. FML. So i am thinking that broadcasting is not gonna work this year. oh well. To try and make up for the disappointment this year of not broadcasting, i scheduled a field trip to the local top 40 radio station, 92 MOOSE, (yes that is really the name ahah) so i am taking 10 girls to a real radio station to get a tour, talk to dj's, and maybe even say a few things on air! haha, sadly, this is exciting.

On a super sad note, We had a staff meeting Tuesday to discuss the death of another camps counselor. Apparently 3 counselors were walking down the street around their camp (Camp Laurel....one very close to us that we do socials and activities with) when a drunk driver hit them. 1 girl, only 21 years old, was killed on impact and the other 2 were hurt. This hit way too close to home and i really have been upset all week because of it. :( heres the link if you want to read about it. http://kennebecjournal.mainetoday.com/news/local/6662306.html

On a lighter note, there is a small girl in my bunk, 10 yrs old obviously. She is so adorable! The reason i bring her up tho is because of her obsession with cookies. We have cookies and milk (we call it cilk and mookies) almost every night after evening activity and the other day she found out that on my bday we get a gynormouse cookie cake. When she ran over to me to confirm that we would, in fact, be having a cookie cake, she jumped about 10 feet in the air and screamed a high pitched scream. Picture a 10 year old that is WAY under height for her age and about the weight of a 5 year old at best jump in the air over cookies. haha....ohhhhh camp. Needless to say, her new nick-name is "cookie".

On the subject of my bday....i am SO sad i will nto be at home to celebrate with all my friends. I have made many friends here with the counselors, butit will still not be the same. My day off is Tuesday and we plan on heading to Portland to do some shopping, then we are all going out Tuesday and Wednesday night to celebrate! The only bad thing....it is tradition to throw any counselor in the lake that celebrates their birthday while at camp. So, Wednesday I will be thrown in the discusting lake. YAY (note: sarcasm)

Well, it is getting down to the home-stretch. I am SO excited to be done with camp! I leave camp Aug 17th and will be riding with a friend of mine as close to Sarah's house as possible to see her and the boys, and mom! Mom and I will be flying back to Columbus together. I cannot WAIT to go home. Although I am happy that I got to experience this, I now know that camp atmosphere is just not for me. Hopefully I will have more stories before i leave and will find time to post them. Miss and love you all!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Update

Havn't written in a few days so here is the latest...it's going to be a quick entry.

Tomorrow is visiting day, which is the beginning of a horribly busy week. All day tomorrow I am expected to shmooze (sp) parents all day.....not exactly my specialty. I am not big on "shmoozing" anyone....

After that nonsense we begin packing the girls up to leave....well, the ones that are only here for first session (half summer)...which just so happens to be all but 3 of the 11 girls in my bunk. After we pack up and ship out those girls we have to unpack the NEW girls...It is goign to be reallllly sad to see some of these girls leave, but i am excited to get almost an entire new cabin of girls because i feel like i have learned a lot about how to handle different situations in the past 5 weeks or so. After we pack and unpack i will be heading on a bus full of campers to NYC to stay the night in a hotel (WOO HOO) which i am SUPER excited about...mainly because of the fact i get a bed and a shower. Then we come back and have to do an orientation for the new girls and start all over again. Yawn.....i am exhausted thinking about it!

Overall, things are going well. I went out last night with some of the girls (gotta get used to saying that) and had a few drinks. It was nice to get a second of calm before the storm. Nothing really exciting to write about tho :(....hope everyone is well. love u all

Monday, July 13, 2009

Venting

I came to camp with many things to try to accomplish. I may have mentioned this in a previous post, but I came to get away from different situations and learn to move on completely and totally. For the most part, i have learned a lot about myself and about moving on and going home with a clean slate. I thank god that there is still over a month to go because there are things I am definitely still struggling with. I was reminded of some of these things when i heard two songs today. Just for kicks, I will add the lyrics below.

Don't think I don't think about it, Darius Rucker

I left out in a cloud of taillights and dust
Swore I wasn't coming back, said I'd had enough
Saw you in the rear view standing fading from my life
But I wasn't turning around, no not this time but


Don't Think I Don't Think About It
Don't think I don't have regrets
Don't think it don't get to me
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey
Don't think I don't wonder 'bout
Could've been, should'a been all worked out
I know what I felt and I know what i said but
Don't Think I Don't Think About It

When we make choices we gotta live with them
Heard you found a real good man and you married him
I wonder if sometimes I cross your mind
Where would we be today if I never drove that car away



I Still Miss you- Keith Anderson

I've changed the presets in my truck

so those old songs don't sneak up
they still find me and remind me
yeah you come back that easy
try restaurants I've never been to
order new things off the menu
that I never tried cause you didn't like
two drinks in you were by my side

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you
I still miss you baby

I never knew til you were gone
how many pages you were on
it never ends I keep turning
and line after line and you are there again
I dont know how to let you go
you are so deep down in my soul
I feel helpless so hopeless
its a door that never closes
no I don't know how to do this

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I still miss you
I still miss you...... yeah.... yeah.....


Friday, July 10, 2009

Hold the phone...

Couple things today....

1....it has been confirmed that we were infected with swine flu. About 100 people had it here....i have yet to get it tho (knock on wood) Everyone is pretty much good now...and most of the girls have been sent back and are feeling great. But, yes, we had a swine flu infestation here.
2...the weather has been much nicer! It was 78 degrees here and the sun was shinning!!!
3...first session is over in a week and a half. This means more than half of the girls in my bunk will already be leaving me :(

lastly, but not least-ly(ha), I am a little distraught. After spending my ENO (early night off...off at 5:30pm tonight) at dinner with the girls and sipping drinks on the patio of one of the VERY few bars in the tiny town of Waterville, ME.....i realized how i am missing a lot at home. I don't know if anyone else feels this way when they are away from home for a long period of time, but i feel like everything at home is on pause and I will be returning to the same situations i left. I found out after spending part of my evening scanning facebook that this is MOST DEFINETELY not the case. I assumed that getting away from things would clear my head and make it so that when i get home i would be in a totally different mindset. I am thinking i may have been terribly wrong...and it sucks. I cannot think of a better word for it...it just plain s-u-c-k-s. I know this is an experience that is opening my eyes to many things and should be one of the greatest summers ever...but seeing some things that are going on back at home really are...devestating(that seems a bit dramatic, but bare with me.....lack of better words when writing on little to no sleep)....i wish i could go home to what i left...but maybe this is better...i guess we will just have to see....

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I am utterly exhausted.



Ok so i havnt had ANY time to write an update, so here goes...

The past week has been CRAZY with the girls finally arriving and getting situated. I feel like I have spent months with them already. I don't know what all i have told you and what i havnt so i am just going to ramble about everything i can think of to tell you.

There are 11 girls in the cabin and at this point i have begun to see their true colors. One (sammi...purple shirt on the far left sitting down with BIG, BLACK hair) i originally kind of interpreted as a smart ass because she has been here 3 years and literally bosses the other girls around....disregards what we ask of her...and all around got under my skin the first couple of days. I have learned that she means well, though. She does have a hard time listening, but that is all little ones. I have finally gotten to a point where i can understand where she is coming from and work with her.

There was a little girl that was sick (shelby...the TEEEENY TINY one in the all white outfits picture)...probably the cutest little girl i have ever seen. She sleeps under my bunk and a few days ago i woke up at 5:30am to a small pitiful voice saying my name right underneath me. She had gotten sick all over her bed and was shaking. I got her cleaned up, got her to the health center and got her sheets and stuff together for laundry. The Health center is full of kids (ill elaborate on that) so they HAD to send her back down to the bunk where she continued to get sick. This little girl was attached to my hip and i swear, this little girl and i have a bond that is the closest thing i have had to a child without them being family. I felt horrible whenever i had to leave her side even for a second. Shelby is no longer sick though (thank GOD) and is back to her giggly, loud, jumpy little self. Mission accomplished!

Now, we already had the lice outbreak....now, we have swine flu. Over 50 campers/counselors have been secluded and the huge gym has now been turned into an extended infirmary. Technically, we do not have any confirmed cases of swine flu, but what we do have is over 50 girls that have been tested as positive for type A influenza which is a strong indicator of swine flu, especially in the summer. Most of the "specimens" were sent to the state on Wednesday and we were told that we would have results by Friday, but because Maine has so many camps and because it is a holiday weekend and staff is taking monday off also, we will not have the actual "swine flu" tests back until tuesday. We had a staff meeting tonight to discuss everything any we were told that we have all been exposed, so basically, the camp owners are prepared to cover any costs to keep us all healthy. He said if our insurance is not covering treatment, he will. I swear, its like we are in a bubble here and people are dropping like flies. At lunch i will be sitting with 10 girls assigned to my table...and by dinner i am down to 7, and breakfast down to 5. Kinda scary, but it sounds like the owner is doing the best he can to handle everything and the parents are all well informed. Basically, i am in the best bad situation possible.

On a lighter note, my first day off in....i don't know...uhh...forever???....is Tuesday! A couple of us are planning on getting off of camp as early as possible (i have been waking up by myself before 7am now) and just staying away!!! I think we will be going to Freeport which has a bunch of outlets and stuff (so i hear). Pray for good weather....

Today was "lazy sunday" which means we had the option of sleeping through breakfast (could sleep until 9 if we wanted). I found that it is physically impossible for me to sleep past 8am now. One amazing thing happened today, though. The sun actually came out! It was absolutely gorgeous!!!! One of the girls i hang out with, Lily, is head of fishing so during an hour of free time today she took a few of us out on the pontoon boat she uses for fishing and we just chilled and listened to music in the middle of the lake. That was honestly the most refreshing thing i have done since i have been here and I cannot wait for another sunny day so we can do it again!

The 4th of July was celebrated here with a little carnival which was fun for the girls. I was disappointed because i was told we would have fireworks and we did not :( so it didnt really feel like the 4th. I was really wishing i could have been home for red white and boom...and cook outs and stuff. That kinda made me a little homesick.....yes, I am 21 and was a bit homesick.

I think that is pretty much the basics. I am really starting to bond with everyone now....the campers and the counselors. It sounds lame but we really have kind of become like a family. With so many being sick we are all looking out for one another and doing all that we can. I am fortunate enough to have dodged the bullet for swine (so far) and lice (so far). The only bug i caught was a virus that causes a bit of a sore throat and my voice has been totally gone for a few days. Nothing big....lets hope it stays that way!!

Ok, i am sorry for all the spelling/grammar mistakes....but it is almost 1am and i am falling asleep!!!! Love and miss you guys....there is the update for now! Happy Anniversary mom and dad!!!! :)

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Here goes nuthin...

The campers arrive tomorrow.....(yes, the "...." means i am lingering)

I am SO excited to actually have them here FINALLY....but i am absolutely terrified as well! Everything has been SO hectic here and what they call "quiet"....so its going to be 10 times more intense and i can barely handle the intensity as it is! I feel a bit more prepared tho...we have done meeting on everything from how to handle a bruised knee, to homesickness, to how to deal with a girl starting her period for the first time, to how to discipline them. I feel prepared, but not ready if that makes any sense. I feel like no training or meeting can prepare me for what is about to happen tomorrow. I pray to god that i am patient, loving, easy-going, and everything that i need to be for these girls. I also hope to teach them something about themselves that they cannot learn from anyone else....i have a lot of things i want to accomplish this summer.

Some funny things happened the past couple of days....i feel they need to be documented. I will put it in chronological order.

Thursday night- I did not plan on going out, but Lily, a girl i hang out with often here, asked me to go over to the boys camp with her for a bonfire because the van that was going there left without her and she didn't want to go alone. I decided that i would go considering thursday and friday were our last nights out for a while. I showered, got ready, then I was informed that there would be abotu 3 other counselors joining us...awessssome (note:sarcasm).
So, we head over to the boys camp, literally abotu 3 mins away. We got there....no bonfire.....just a bunch of boys standing in a parking lot drinking in the dark....again.....awesome. I mingled a bit...but i was exhausted and just wanted to go home. Well, i didn't drive so i was at the mercy of the owner of the car and other passengers as to when we would be leaving, so i sat and waited. The next thing i know, one of the girls who came with us is walking into the woods with one of the boys camp counselors that she had just met. She came back abotu 45 mins after and told us what all she had just done with a complete stranger.....trust me, you do not want to know. I decided that i was going to get a way out of there asap because it was just not the kind of place i wanted to be at the time. So i grabbed a ride with other girls that had shown up...went to my bunk...and went to sleep.

Friday- A looooong day getting stuff together and wrapping things up and I decided i would take advantage of our LAST night out for over a week. I went out with the same girls, including the promiscuous one and we joined other staff from the camp at a local bar in waterville. My superiors were there and it was honestly a blast! The girls decided they wanted to go back to the boys camp and i bribed them to drive me back to MY camp. On the way back the promiscuous one started talking about how she had brownies that she brought with weed in them...how she brought her bowl to smoke pot with her...etc....she then proceeded to beg to ride in the trunk on the way home, as we had too many people in the car. I am assuming you are catching my tone of voice while writing this, but it is a "Are you fucking kidding me?" kind of reaction. I finally got back to my bunk and went to sleep.

Saturday morning- (Which let me tell you, did NOT feel like a Saturday) I ran into the promiscuous one and asked her how her night was at the boys camp. She started telling me how she had run off with ANOTHER boy. This is when it really started setting in that thsi girl may have some serious issues.....probably self esteem issues. I was wondering if I should talk to her more to try to get to the root of her issues or if i shoudl totally avoid this other counselor. Before I could decide what was the right choice, there was an announcement in the rec hall. The director has told us many times that he is upfront and honest with us at all times and today he made an announcement. Ms. Promiscuous had been fired because of drug parafinalia (sp). So, i learned a few things.....1- girls are crazy. 2-you reap what you sew. 3- This camp does not screw around. 4- That i am getting older because the entire time that all of this stuff was going on all i could do is think of the more responsible alternative in the situations.

So yeah...that is a recap of the last few days. I am sorry you just wasted 5 mins of your life reading that, but try living it haha. But i should go to sleep....breakfast in 7 hours. I just wanted to be sure and document the past few days.

((i guess i should have mentioned that Ms. Promiscuous is only 19 years old, so she is at an age where she can make mistakes and learn from them, so pray that she does))

Also, If you want to send anything the address is on the previous post but be sure to add my name and Bunk 10C to the first line. Also, email me your address so i can write you letters during our letter time every other day :)

Love you all and miss you all!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

...drumroll please

So today I found out that I will be in a bunk with 10 year old girls!
I think its a good age because they are old enough they are somewhat
self sufficient as far as cleaning and unpacking (sommmmewhat) but are
not involved in the drama!!!! I am STOKED! There will be about 12
girls in my bunk and 3 counselors! It is actually one of the smallest
bunks, surprisingly! Also, I found out that I have Tuesdays
off....which means I will have to work on my birthday :( but i can go
out the day before! Sarah, I will be requesting a ENO (Early night
off) 2 weeks from now on Monday so I can leave camp at 5:30pm to head
to Boston and can spend the night there and spend all day Tuesday
there. Once it is all set in stone, i will let you know! Would you be
able to call off on a Tuesday to come hang out??????

Anyways, that is the news for the day! Love and miss you!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

New email to mom and sis....enjoy...

Sorry i havn't written lately!!! Here is the update:

My radio shit is STILL not hooked up and campers get here Sunday....I have talked to everyone possible and they keep saying they will take care of it, but I am beginning to get a little frustrated! I guess last year the transmitter broke as well as the PA system SO radio BLEW last year. They said it will probably be the same this year which means no one will hear the "shows" that the girls learn to produce so it's pointless. Super aggravating! I figured worst case scenario I will have the girls do fun bits (like maxwell used to make me do) and make a podcast to put on the camps website.

We find out tomorrow what age we will be bunking with as well as what days off we will have! I put in for Juniors (8-10), and Inters (11-13) so cross your fingers i get one of the two! The only age group i opted out of was 14 and 15 year olds.....basically because i know how much of a terror i was at 14 and 15 and i don't want to have to deal with that haha (sorry mom!! haha) I guess the older girls get to do more tho. Inters and Seniors(14-15) get to do the socials and go white water rafting...juniors have to have lights out at like 8 and only get to go "fun-yaking" which doesn't particularly sound like something i want to be a part of haha. I am hoping to get an early night off followed by a day off so I can take a trip to Boston (sarah, you better meet up with me!!) and sight see and get a hotel room so i can actually sleep in a BED and take a shower in a REAL shower!

We went to Portland today.....it was actually really cool! There are little shops all over the place and the piers so there were boats all over the place. Too bad i don't like seafood or else i would have been in seafood heaven! They have FRESH lobster (which i heard was amazing) and pretty much anything else you can think of straight out of the water.

I talked to Ruth (Jimmy's mom) today while i was in town and she said JIMMY IS HOME! He got home on Fathers day! If i remember correctly, she said he only has 3 chemo treatments left!!!!! So keep him in your prayers for a continued recovery!

I still am not (technically) home-sick. I do miss everyone from home and wonder what all my friends/family are doing....i feel like i am missing out on a lot, esp the nice weather! I am even missing SHANE, haha...who ever thought that day would come? It serrrrriously feels like i have been gone for at least a month...its weird! I hope once the girls get here that time goes quicker because i feel like every day is 3 days here!!! Our schedules are literally mapped out by the minute...7:50 flag raising, 8:00 breakfast, 8:30- meeting, 8:45- dept time.....i swear, that is how our ENTIRE day is mapped out....with a few 15 min breaks. Doing laundry and taking showers seems to be the hardest part of it all! By the time we get done for the day (which could be anywhere from 7-11:30) I am wiped out! It is funny because today was a "sleep in" day since we got a day off and i woke up at 8:45 and felt like i slept until 2pm! I am enjoying the BEAUTIFUL scenery, although i am NOT enjoying the horrible cold, rainy weather.

Anyways, that is the update! I have a feeling that free time will start to diminish once the girls get here so I will have to write in my journal and post it all after the fact! Hope all is well back at homeeee (and in MA, sar!) !!! miss you ....PLEASE....e-mail, comment, write me a letter, whatever!!!! I need some lovin'!!!

Mailing address for now
Camp Matoaka
One great place
Smithfield, ME 04978

LOVE AND MISS YOU!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Hiking day email to mom and sis

So today was the oh-so-wonderful "Team bonding adventure hike". As you know, I am the furthest thing from physically fit and...i am head of radio....i am NOT head of anything athletic because i do not claim to be athletic. Also, take into consideration the fact that i just recently quit smoking. Well today was a two mile hike up a mountain, and a two mile hike back down the mountain. Maybe I am just ignorant to what a normal hike is like, but this was not a walk in the park by any stretch of the imagination. This hike included rock climbing...vertical slants....90 degree angles, people! Needless to say I think the smoking and the "acute asthma" that Dr. Kageorge rold me i had when i was younger caught up to me and I had something similar to, if not, a full blown asthma attack. I have to mention that even though i had some weird breathing issue and i am totally out of shape....i was NOT the last in the line of about 19 people.....i was about...ehh...11? Well, anyways...so I am walking and I am determined to stay "with the pack" and I am breathing so loud my throat is making a squeaking sound (i later found out this is commonly known as wheezing). When one of the guys started to gain on me he heard my breathing and told me to sit down....then it all went down hill. The more i tried to breathe, the less air i was getting which would make me panic and made it worse. so i sat for a bit....they brought me an inhaler (yep, i am officially the nerd with the inhaler) and i took a few breaks and made it up the damn mountain. We ate lunch at the top and talked about leadership skills and enjoyed the gorgeous view (pictures will come when i find someone with a cord to hook my camera up) and started down the mountain. Well, of course, I was the dumb ass that tripped and gashed my knee on a rock...but I kept truckin' until i realized blood was running into my sock. I grabbed a napkin out of my backpack and continued down the path like a champ!

So that was the hike....an all day adventure....and now i am exhausted, sore, and not looking forward to the aches and pains that will be full blown tomorrow. I cleaned up my knee a bit, got a shower in and now I am waiting for 6pm dinner followed by game night because the other counselors arrived today and we need MORE team bonding apparently. Tomorrow we have to put on a skit and make fools of ourselves for the new counselors (which i am excited about...now it feels like home!). The sun finally came out and now it is scorching hot in the cabins....apparently there is not happy medium with temperature when you are in a cabin. I should be moving into my REAL cabin within the next few days which means I will finally be able to settle in!

Anyways...I was texting with Ruth (jimmys mom) today and she said that Jimmy started chemo today which means he should be heading home in the next couple of days so keep your prayers goin and fingers crossed for him!!!

Love you all!!! Miss you all!!! Keep me updated on what all of YOU are up too, as well!!! email, text, or comment!!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

A quick email to Mom and sis from camp

The 1st of many e-mails/blogs this summer while at camp. This one was sent to my mom and sister...

I finally figured out how everything is going to be working here!!!The campers will arrive in about a week and a half and until then weare getting camp set up, getting into the swing of things (waking upat the ass crack of dawn....by the way, the sun rises at 5am here...),meeting other people from our department....oh, wait, i am the ONLYone in the radio department. We have been doing a lot of "teambuilding" activities with our fellow HOD's (head of departments) and iguess the other counselors will be showing up by thursday. Thursday wewill be "going on an adventure". It is a surprise where we are goingso I seriously feel like im one of the campers hahaha.

I got my binder today that will help me set up the radio departmentand it looks like i will have 4- 50 minute periods a day with groupsof about 6 girls where I will be helping the girls broadcast their ownradio shows where they will talk every 3 songs and learn how to usethe equipment and it will be broadcasted over the PA for the entirecamp. There are abotu 350 campers so far signed up and Jason, theowner, said that there are about 100 more girls trying to get in btuhe is in the process of trying to make room for them.What sucks right now is trying to get settled in! Because it is justthe counselors at the moment, we are all put into cabins, but we will be moving to a different cabin within a week! So, for now, i will beliving out of my suitcase. Oh, and I forgot a pillow. Damn it....Iwill probably be making a trip to Wal-Mart tonight to get things ineed....a journal, a pillow, another blanket (its cold as SHIT rightnow...and rainy)...more shampoo and conditioner....an alarm clock (the fog horn they BLAST is not going to wake me up, i can already tellhaha) and a watch.

My cell phone will be in a locker in the officelocked up while i am "working" but most nights I will be able to useit after 8 and some times in the middle of the day. I have 15-30minute breaks a lot so I will probably be heading over to thecomputers during those times daily so anything urgent, for now, shouldbe sent through email. I will get you the mailing address and theoffice number soon.

Anyways....it seems like this is going to be a BLAST! Some of theother counselors are SUPER girly....and dumb (brought designer shoesand NO BOOTS to CAMP!) but most of the people here are very verynice!!!! I am SOOOO excited for the little girls to get here so i canstart working with them. Oh, and there are a lot of Australian peoplehere as counselors, so dont be surprised if i come home with a bit ofan accent or start calling people mate, or bloke....i have heard it amillion times already and i guarentee its going to rub off on me haha.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Deep Breath!

Today I realized that I am 30 days away from moving to Maine for 2 months.

I am moving out of my comfort zone....out of my hometown....away from everyone I know....all by myself.

This will be my first time totally and completely away from home and away from all I have ever known. Granted, it is only for 2 months, but either way it makes me a little anxious.....

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Professor Smartass

Earlier this week I had to do a project for my photography class. The assignment was "photo as document". Basically, I had to do a documentary through photos, but I was allowed to use video or audio. Most people in the class were talking about following around one of their parents...some even paid bums to let them follow them throughout their day. When the project was presented to us I instantly thought about some youtube videos I had watched about military men and women attempting to transition into "normal" life. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_nUY9Dsc5k, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLUg-B0nPzI&feature=related

Some of the statements these guys made were so powerful...and I decided I was going to try to do my own version of these videos.

I decided my ex would be a good "subject" to use in my documentary and he was more than willing to help me with my project. I showed him the videos I was trying to emulate and he told me that he could totally relate to these men. (I can say that the dimise of our relationship did make more sense after he made this comment) I could not figure out what to photograph to get my point across, but I thought of a few things along with audio. Now, let me explain something....the ex is not a talkative person AT ALL...but as soon as I sat down with a recorder and began asking him questions....this guy was going on and on! He opened up about all kinds of things. I remember one comment he made that is stuck with me..."I would rather know that there is a good chance I won't see next week than know what i'm going to be doing for the next 20, 30 years of my life."
Anyways, I took the pics....we hung out for a bit, and I made my way home. The next day I edited my photos and Tuesday I printed them out, got my audio ready, and presented to the class for critique.
My professor is probably in his early 30's and is the coolest guy ever. Before I even started my presentation he asked who it was...."uh.....it's my ex".....prof: "hahaha, this should be interesting, go on".....
So I explain that this guy in the photos had been on 2 tours to Iraq and just recently started "real life" here at Ohio State....he does suffer from PTSD....he is thinking about rejoining the military because he is having such a hard time adjusting...yada yada yada.....
After that, I play the very touching audio.
Now, the critique begins. "The composition isn't bad in the photos", "The audio is really touching and the photos fit really well with what he was talking about", "The presentation as a whole was very moving".....then comes the smart ass comments from the professor.
(here are a 3 of the 8 photos used...these were all black and white for the presentation...notice the injury on his forehead from rugby)

"I love the intimacy of these photos"....yeah, my professor really just said that about these photos....I am assuming he was refering to the photo of him looking at the camera...which he happened to be bitching at me in....haha...it hits me....the intimacy between my ex and I....caught in a photograph???
Next comment from professor smartass.
"That scab on his head....is that from a domestic dispute?"....ha....ha...ohhhh lord.
The final comment from professor smartass, "Hmm, Semper Fidelis....doesn't that mean 'always faithful'?......Kind of ironic, huh?.....he IS your ex, right? Anything to do with why you guys broke up?"
Last time I checked this was photography class NOT psych! Good thing I like this professor...haha...I wasn't really wanting to discuss my failed relationship with 30 random people in my class.
I did end up getting a lot of compliments from classmates about the use of audio with this project and a lot of compliments on the actual photos. The professor, however, was more interested on the joke of the situation.

Friday, May 8, 2009

I'm feeling like i'm fallin' away...

So my sister has been blogging and has told me to blog over and over again......so, here it is.

Now, what do I write about? I don't have exciting things going on in my life....I havn't survived through horrible events in my life...I don't have children....I am just a normal 21 year old girl.

I am challenging myself to look for the interesting aspects of my life throughout the day to day trials and tribulations. I guess because it is a blog it doesn't matter if it entertains anyone, but I feel the need to be entertaining.

::WARNING::
The things written in this blog may be extreamly dull.
These are the daily trials and tribulations of a "normal" girl.

I will be very open about my life and what I do.

...you can't complain, you have been warned.

A little about me...well, I am a student at The Ohio State University and I am set to graduate in December 2009 with a BA in Public Affairs Journalism. I would say my life is pretty normal, but what is normal to me may be very different from what others find normal. I have gone through heartbreak which seems to be the only huge hurdle I have had to go through. (wow, I really do sound boring, huh?) That relationship was a military relationship and I learned a lot about myself, relationships, and (inevitably) the military throughout our rise and fall. I plan to make this blog very personal and because of that I do not plan on forwarding the link to any friends/relatives in fear of getting lectured about my continuous "screw-ups"....which I like to call "learning experiences".
I often wonder what this "free-time" is that so many people speak of. The past few years have been very busy with school, work, and internship's consuming all of my time. I feel like i missed out a little on "college life" because I have tried so hard to be responsible and do right by my parents. I rarely drink or go out, mainly because after having work/class all day I don't feel up to it. I don't drink beer, I drink the "foo foo girly drinks" that cause hangovers from hell which also causes me to make drinking a rare occurrence. I wonder how I will feel about not taking advantage of college life ten years from now....
I will often refer to quotes or lyrics. I feel like other people can explain how I feel better than I can. I think today's song is going to be "Falling Away" by Jupiter Rising

Cant you see that its more than a picture
More life than the oldest scripture
Man I tell you this life may miss ya
Play a role and it still may diss ya
For the obvious never felt closer
Till the day that you said its ova
My exposure became your closure
Woke you up like a fresh cup of Folgers

I like it any way (anyway) I do it anyway
There’s really nothing that I really can say, yeah
I’m always on the line I’m always on the grind
I’m always drifting away yeaah

I’m feeling like I’m falling away (yeah)
I’m feeling like I’m falling away
People stop and stare but I don’t really care
Cuz I’m not really here and you’re not really there, there
(REPEAT)

I might seem to flicker like a fire light unexpected
Rescue mission from my dark side
Sense swelling up inside realize my open eyes
Higher and higher I am the elevator girl

On the up and up and the way I go
Bringing the deposit won’t stop no more
Never afraid to fully play the game
And I’m bringing down the house and I’m collecting
Greener grass on the other side cutting in pressure can’t break my stride
This life is everything this is my anthem


When I close my eyes it still looks the same to me
Shooting high in the sky catching the twilight burning to my memory
I don’t care I don’t mind
But its okay and its alright
I don’t care, I don’t lie and it’s okay no0o
I don’t care I don’t mind
But its ok and its alright
I don’t care and I don’t lie
O0o